A friend of mine over at In Balance Yoga Crystal, who I went to school with is an amazing Yoga teacher and great friend. We have two kids that are within days and weeks of each other! Our boys are a day apart and our daughters are a few weeks apart. When she challenged me to the #shesgotlegs yoga challenge, I thought it would be a good way for me to be intentional about my yoga practice at home. I’m more of a studio yogi and can’t seem to get motivated enough at home or know exact poses to do. It’s a challenge where there are poses every day in the month of August, and you do the pose to the best of your ability and snap a picture of yourself in that pose and post to Instagram with the #shesgotlegs hashtag. It’s that simple.
I thought it was a helpful challenge to me, but I learned some things about myself and ultimately I have decided to quite doing this picture-taking portion of the challenge. I think it’s a great challenge and it’s great for people to encourage one another to go further in their yoga practice, but for me, it ultimately left me with some insecure feelings.
Let me elaborate. I know yoga is for EVERY Body. I know… However, it has really brought out my insecurities about my weight having pictures taken of me in yoga positions when I’m not fit. I know it may sounds very superficial and maybe self absorbed, but it’s true. I know some of you understand. The unfiltered truth is, that when you have extra weight on you, that not only is it more difficult to get into more challenging poses, but they don’t photograph as well either. You can’t suck in, you can’t do that “skinny” angle…it’s very open and vulnerable.
There’s good news in this though. It has really been just the motivation that I’ve needed to get back into shape. The right way… the feel good and look good way. The motivation not to stop until I’m living a life that I know I should. No excuses. I’m too young to be continuing on the way I have and I’m too smart to not just “do what I need to do” to get there.
My grace period is over. I’ve had three kids in three years, gone through Lyme disease and the ailments that followed, and now that I’ve recovered, it’s time to get serious! My goal is to focus on cardio and strength training 4-5x a week with yoga mixed in 2-3x a week. Dan and I signed up for a 5k at Lake Lanier in November, so I am working on getting in shape for that. I’m working on eating less and retraining my body limit foods with processed sugars, grains, carbs and fill with whole foods and protein. Not easy, but totally doable! As a longer-term goal I can focus on next Spring when Dan and I will be celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary and even though we don’t have anything planned, I would love to be fit, looking good, and feeling good by then!
So here I am… flaws and all. Letting the chubbies all hang out. I enjoy practicing yoga, and I will continue to do the #shesgotlegs challenge on my own, I just won’t be taking any more pictures of myself in the poses! Crystal was able to give me tips on how to do a headstand too. I was using a chair to help me kick up at first, but now I can do one on my own without a chair. This week in Heated Power Yoga I was able to do my first headstand at the end of class. Something I had been working towards for several months! Baby steps! I never thought my body would be able to do all these yoga poses and inversions, but it has. This has reminded me that my body is capable of so much if I have faith that it can do it! I’m asking God to help me along the way with prayer and intention, to work through me during my workouts. More updates to come!