I’m sure many of you know the rate of speed our kids are growing, and that we do not in fact have any more babies in our house. Sienna is growing by leaps and bounds, will be two in November, Parker will turn five on Sunday, and Mason is 3, with his birthday in March. Whew!
When you’re in the baby stage, it seems so exhausting and never ending. It’s precious, but so draining and requires SO much of Mommy. I wouldn’t change any of it, It is our family, and I love it. I always dreamed of being a Mommy, and as I look around at my life, and my family, it is exactly what I wanted as a little girl. It’s not always fun, not always without frustration or yelling, not always technology free and full of hugs and kisses, but it’s our family and I’m so thankful for it.
I’ve been focusing on the baby years a lot these last few months because Dan and I made the hard decision to stop having babies, and have Dan get a vasectomy. We came to the decision after several factors. One being that we are happy with the size of our family. I know there are GREAT Mamas out there that can divide their love and attention between three plus kids, but I just know it isn’t for me. I don’t know if the decision is made more evident by the fact that our kids are so close together in age, but right now, it’s pretty challenging on a daily basis to make sure I’m dividing up my attention enough between the three kids. Sienna is very jealous of the brothers, and the boys usually have to call my name several times to get my attention because I’m busy with one of the other kids doing something else. I feel constantly torn, and admittedly my fuse can be short at times with them because of it. I know it’s just the season we’re in right now, but after much prayer and consideration, we know that this is what God has for us. It is what we can handle.
Secondly, we don’t use birth control. I know, I know… I get the raised eyebrows and side slanted head from my OBGYN every visit. It’s just not for us. I don’t like to put hormones into my body, and the copper IUD makes you bleed like you’re dying a slow death, which doesn’t sound fun. There’s also condoms, but seriously… who enjoys those? The “being careful method” (also known as the “pull and pray” method, haha!) just didn’t make for a relaxing experience for me. It always made me SO nervous I was going to accidentally get preggers again!
Also, I’ve been working hard lately on my fitness, getting my body back in shape after having Sienna (almost TWO years ago!), Lymes disease, lower back issues, and just lazy bones syndrome. I didn’t gain a ton of weight, I just never lost it after I had Sienna. I went straight from breastfeeding to being sick, and then never got around to losing it. So yeah, that was another deciding factor. I admittly, selfishly, want my body back after pushing out nine, ten, and eight pound babies within a three year period.
Another reason is Money. I mean, speaking strictly from a practical point of view, of course, we could get by with WAY less. Our kids could share rooms, wear each other’s clothes, wait to get a car until they’re in their 20’s…, the list goes on. But why? I agree that teaching them to get by with less, will allow them to be good shepherds over what they do have. I COMPLETELY agree with not getting them every single thing they want, doing chores and earning money only for EXTRA work around the house instead of just what is expected are all GOOD things, but what about college? What about the inevitable doctor bills or sports and extra circular activities they’ll join, or summer family vacations, etc. Shouldn’t we plan from a practical perspective when planning our family too? I think so. I think that three kids is all we can afford comfortably. For now AND down the road when college and all the other big expenses start creeping in.
Lastly, Dan and I aren’t exactly spring chickens. When I say “Dan and I”, I really mean… just Dan. Haha (sorry honey!). No, but seriously. Dan just turned 40 this year, and I turned 33, which is acceptable child bearing age, but for Dan, he just feels like he’s done (and I do too). I had to have an arm twisting session with him to convince him to have another after the boys. SO SO glad I won that battle (or should I say that GOD won that battle) and that we got our GIRL!
So, yeah. Dan had a vasectomy on Friday. He’s fine. He has some pain of course. The worst part was that they offered no sedation. He had a valium and some lidocaine via local injection. It’s hard when you have three kids and have something done like that. Sienna loves to give hugs and her head is right at crouch level. Ouch! Seriously, though. I’m so thankful that he agreed to do it, especially after all the Crohn’s surgeries he’s had, it’s hard to want to have an ELECTIVE procedure done that he knows will be so painful, but I’m forever grateful that he agreed!
Parker cracks me up with his questions too. In our house, we try to be perfectly honest as much as possible given their age and understanding. This is the conversation I had with Parker after I dropped Dan off at the office for the out patient procedure.
Parker: “Mommy, why are you dropping Daddy off?”
Me: “He’s having a procedure done”
Parker: “I heard Daddy said he was getting a needle in his pee pee”
Me: “Yes, he is. He’s getting it done so we don’t have any more babies”
Parker: “Ouch, that will hurt really bad. Why does he have to get a needle in his Peepee when you’re the one who has the babies?”
Me: “…..Well… When two people are married, you need a Mommy and a Daddy to have a baby”
Parker: “Oh, okay. Where is that park at? Is it really far away? Does it have a slide?”
Whew! Lengthy explanation averted!
So, yeah. No more babies. I bawled the other day. A friend posted a sappy video on FB about a few japanese Moms leaving their child’s one year appointment and their husband’s surprising them with an artwork style display of baby photos of the child’s first year along the walls of the hallway. I just cried like a baby. I cried because it made me realize how fast and quick those baby years really are. I cried because I knew I wouldn’t have another baby of my own to hold. I cried because I wondered if I had enjoyed it enough, savored it enough, documented it enough, loved enough without complaining of how hard it was, or if I was doing it right, or if they were reaching their milestones. I mourned the baby stage. It’s a sweet stage and one that goes by way way too quickly.
For now, I will savor the toddler and childhood stages and dream about whats to come, what we can finally talk about doing now that the kids are older. The fun adventures that await as they grow, makes us excited to look forward to the future. The future of them growing into their own person, and us helping them be the best they can be!