The Worrywart in me

I thought this pregnancy would be different. I thought that since I had done this before, that I should just lay back and take it easy and not worry since it ain’t my first rodeo.  However, I’m starting to see it creep in…slowly.  It started Saturday night after Parker’s party.  I woke up about 2am, tossing and turning and unable to fall back asleep.  Not wanting to wake my husband, I decided to go downstairs to see if I could fall asleep on the sofa (the most comfortable place in the house during my last pregnancy), but alas, no luck there either.

I started to think about all the preparations that I needed to make for the new baby… cleaning out the guest room, organizing the closets, installing a fan, picking out furniture, figuring out what to do with all the STUFF in the guest room (old bluprints and design boards from school, pictures, general “Sharon” memorabilia) and I started to panic.  True, I’m only 16 weeks…but I have SO much going on now.  I have a 1 year old that I have to care for… I can barely keep the house cleaned and the laundry folded as is, so how in the world am I going to make time for all of this?   The challenge lies in how much space we have.  We would LOVE to move into a bigger home, but with our house value the way it is, that is certainly NOT an option.  With all of these  rambling thoughts,  I calmed myself  by cleaning up the kitchen, getting rid of all the piles of stuff left over from Parker’s party.  I started to make mental lists of things that I needed to add to my spreadsheet timeline that I hadn’t thought of before.  Eventually, I was tired again and fell asleep.

Uggh, why do I do this to myself?  How can I control it?  For my entire family’s sake, I need to stay strong, put my trust in God,  and know that everything will get done in time,… that little baby will have a beautiful nursery just like Parker does and that we’ll find a place for everything in the guestroom, AND the healthy baby will be born to a stress free environment with an anxiety free Mama!  Let us pray…

One thought on “The Worrywart in me

  1. Worrywarts unite! lol I think that we all struggle with how to be the perfect mom. Now that you have a little one, you’ll find that you don’t have the time to do all of the things to prepare like you did for Parker. Just know that it’s okay. The new baby won’t care what color his or her room is, or that you had everything put away neatly, or that you crossed everything off your spreadsheet. He or she will only care that you are there in the way that only you can be. You are a mother – even your flaws are beautiful and perfect to your children.

    Like

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